Halloween: Christianity Unmasked, Part 2

Part 2 - Judgement Houses

(Before I begin…a quick apology for the continual misspelling of the word 'Judgment' throughout this post. Apparently, the church that began this Hell House variation felt their message extends far beyond the need for proper 'riting or other such fancy stuff and, wanting to present a fair portrayal of this event, I'll just go ahead and swallow my grammatical OCD tendencies, leaving it spelled so below in the spirit of honesty…except for the one critic quoted below who got it right… Jage)

This 'alternate' alternative to the celebrating Halloween dilemma for American Fundamentalists actually scares me a tad more than the 'Hell House' phenomenon I discussed in the first part of this series (here). It's promoted as a less-horrific approach than the in-your-face style of Hell Houses, but the accounts I've read about this growing sensation over the past twenty years smell heavily of the 'wolf in sheep's clothing' reality in the final analysis. The main goal of the program is still to use fear as a tool for 'saving' a person and bringing them into the tithing fold (along with making some good seasonal revenue as well). This quote from Adam Butler of the Alabama Freethought Association who visited a Judgment House at Westwood Baptist Church in Birmingham, AL pretty much sums it up in my opinion...

"After I saw two children praying through tears at the end of a performance, I realized just how powerful the fear tactics used by Judgment House really are. The mentality of churches to produce such an atrocity is simple--scare children early in their lives and they'll fear it until the day they die...what is the purpose of Judgment House, if not to use fear to convince someone of something that reason cannot?"

As in the first part of this series, I'll start out with some simple background on the concept…

A Typical 'Judgement House'

From the mouths of the makers themselves of the official Judgement House Kit - "A standard presentation involves an eight-scene walk-through drama that tells the story of several youth facing their individual daily challenges. A guide leads visitors from one scene to the next as the narrative unfolds…Each 5 – 7 minute scene is a progression of one story that focuses on the decision we all must make to either accept or reject the salvation offered by our Lord Jesus…One teen chooses to accept Christ and another chooses to reject Him. Then the characters die in a common calamity such as an a car crash or natural disaster, and they are flung into their respective eternal destinations, thus revealing the end results of the choices they made -- everlasting Heaven or Hell…After the heaven scene the guests go to an invitation room where they are offered the opportunity to accept the free gift of salvation, to rededicate their lives to the Lord, or to pray with a counselor."

Scenes from 'Judgement Houses'

(From the Original Script by New Creation Evangelism - makers of the kit)

- A fire kills Darren and mortally injures Whitney. A medical team unsuccessfully tries to save her life. Whitney dies, is judged, and is granted her reward of eternal life in heaven. However, Darren did not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior while he was alive. He is thrown into the lake of fire for eternal torment without hope of mercy or relief. "The Hell scene usually consists of a dark room heated to about 80 degrees into which the participants are herded to listen to agonizing screams from invisible speakers that surround them. Heaven is usually depicted as a bright white room (with no deficit of air conditioning) where one is surrounded by soft music and men and women dressed in heavenly garb." Jesus is shown welcoming each new arrival. Christian counselors are accessible to the viewers as they exit the heaven scene.

(From the Updated Script by New Creation Evangelism)

- This year’s script is called ABDUCTED. It is the story of two middle school girls who are in the parking lot of a movie theatre and are taken away. It is a parent’s worst nightmare. You will see the trauma that the parents go through and the reaction of the girls, one who has a personal relationship with Christ and the other who does not. You will see how they handle their circumstance and you will follow them in the midst of their terrifying experience. More and more there seems to be headline news about kidnappings and abductions. This is a relevant storyline that touches the hearts of not just teens but parents as well.

(From a Judgement House by Northside Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, TN)

- This year's Judgment House — "In the Twinkling of an Eye" — will emphasize the rapture, a future Biblical event where the faithful suddenly disappear from earth. The drama is being put together with the help of David Allen, an illusionist from Georgia, and Clark expects attendance to exceed that of last year's event.

(From a Judgement House by First Baptist Church of Daytona Beach, FL in 2002)

- "People lie dying on the street of a small Florida town hit by a tornado, their mangled bodies buried under uprooted palm trees. Survivors walk around in a daze, pleading for help. A small boy, blood running down his face, goes from person to person asking: "Have you seen my mom?" A busload of people arrive to witness the carnage. They lift the yellow tape of the police cordon and walk through the scene, anxiety written on their faces. But they make no attempt to help. They are hurried on by a tour guide, who leads them into a makeshift operating theatre where victims lie on the floor screaming in pain"

(From the 2005 Judgement House by First Baptist Church of Maryville, IL)

- More than 1,500 people toured the church's Judgment House last year. The theme this year is "Family Skeletons: What's hiding in your closet?" Judgment House is a one-hour, guided walk-through drama based on the reality of American life. Guests are guided through several scenes in the lives of a typical American family as they struggle to live the American Dream while they cope with the price they pay for the realities of unemployment and alcohol abuse.

The History of 'Judgement Houses'

Tom Hudgins, youth pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Clearwater, FL created the first Judgment House in 1983 "as a Christian alternative to Halloween." Since then, he founded New Creation Evangelism, Inc (also in Clearwater) to begin selling the 'concept' and script kits for the event. But - don't order just yet - the payment of $335.00 (US) doesn't just buy the kit…the participating church also becomes a 'Covenant Church' with annual membership fees and new sinner scripts each year. If you're curious what churches in your state are on the membership roles, click here for an interactive map for each state. So far, this particular outbreak has mostly been contained within the Baptist Church in southern states, but it is beginning to spread across the land between the shining seas as a quickening pace.

The Target Audience

As with the Hell House goals, there's a specific focus on aiming the message of eternal doom and punishment for certain sexual and social behavior on teens and pre-teens. The scripted stories in Judgement Houses are always about teens making bad choices while children. And it's having the desired effect. Here's a letter sent in to New Creation Evangelism by a Baptist minister operating a Judgement House…

"A group of 30 teenagers came through our Judgement House presentation with some pretty rough looking guys and gals. The youth pastor that brought the group was really excited that so many unsaved teenagers came with him to tour Judgement House. After going through the tour, one of the boys raised his hand for salvation during the invitation and went for counseling. No one else in the group responded to the invitation.

Several hours later the youth pastor called my cell phone. He was sobbing uncontrollably as he shared his story with me. He had been discouraged that only one young man from his group was saved. On his way home he was upset because it seemed that God had not worked. He began to rationalize why no one else had responded—the drama wasn’t real enough, the invitation wasn’t strong enough, hell wasn’t hot enough, etc.

When he got back to his church parking lot, the one 14-year-old boy who did make a decision asked if he could say something to the entire group. The youth pastor gave him the okay. All the students gathered around while this newly saved teenager began to speak. The teenager was not raised in church but with the prompting of the Holy Spirit and the knowledge of God’s grace toward him, he started to give the plan of salvation to his fellow students. He quoted Scripture that he heard in the invitation room word for word and presented the gospel in clear fashion. His final statement was, “I have only been saved for an hour but God has made a big difference in my life already.” With that final statement, he gave a chance for others to respond to what he had already tasted. Fourteen of his peers accepted the Lord in that parking lot!

Funny isn’t it how God can continue to work even after the groups leave our churches? Our job is to sow the seed…Judgement House allows us to do that time and time again.

Serving the Lord and Loving it!
Dan Kubish
Messiah Baptist Church
Wichita, Kansas"

On the Light Side

Here's the bugger about this one…there is no light side. The overly-obvious Hell Houses are finally starting to get some scrutiny and scorn from the sane, but Judgement Houses are still pretty much flying under the radar. If a Judgement House isn't in your city or state this year, chances are it likely will be in one of the Halloweens to come… Jage

Next: Part 3 - Tribulation Trails and Revelation Walks (Final Segment)

Some Related Judgement House Stories Online:

http://www.rickross.com/reference/fundamentalists/fund151.html

http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/10/282005c.asp

http://www.atheists.org/flash.line/hallow1.htm

http://www.mbcpathway.com/quasar/isl/content/content.isl?channelid=-1999993227&partnerid=-1999999057&contentid=-1999965368

Thought(s) for the Day

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country."

- Rev. Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976

"I consider the government of the United States as interdicted by the Constitution from intermeddling with religious institutions, their doctrines, discipline, or exercises."

- Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Samuel Miller, 1808

"Jerry Falwell believes that Thomas Jefferson was the Devil."

- The Jage, 2005

Halloween: Christianity Unmasked, Part 1

Part 1 - Hell Houses

As is common in social environments where fundamentalist religious fervor is allowed to fester unchecked, the use of fear as a tactic for both conversion and condemnation eventually becomes prevalently public. During the past decade, there has been a growing focus by American Christian sects to target Halloween as an actual day of literally evil and a time of battles fought between the forces of light and darkness (see related post here). One particular phenomenon that has rapidly caught on during the past decade, not only as a means of frightening-into-fellowship new members but also as a big money maker, is a 'Christianized' variation of traditional walk-through haunted houses called 'Hell Houses'. And though many of the participants in these events don't seem to realize it, it's a fascinating unveiling of the ugly engine under the proverbial Christian church's hood.

You might not think this is such a big deal, but from the debut of the first 'official' Hell House thirteen-years ago, there were at least 3,000 churches across America operating a similar franchise of fear in 2004. Today, CNN estimated there are between 3,500 and 4,000 Hell Houses expected for the 2005 Halloween season and that this year there will finally be a Hell House in every single state of the nation. So, what's the big deal, you ask? Well, let's start with a little background on the matter for those who aren't familiar…

A Typical 'Hell House':

A Hell House consists of a group of horrific scenes within a type of 'haunted house'. The customer walks through a sequence of tableaus designed to create terror and revulsion. The last scene is different; it is typically a portrayal of heaven. The visitors are then asked to accept salvation by repenting of their sins and trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior.

Hell Houses are a relatively new evangelistic technique used by thousands of conservative Christian churches in North America alone. One of the main intents is to proselytize the 'unsaved' public. Another is to promote certain conservative Christian beliefs:

- that abortions kill human babies;

- that sexual orientation is a matter of choice and can be changed;

- that everyone who is not saved will go to hell when they die (perhaps sooner, if Jesus returns);

- that underground Satanic cults engage in widespread sacrifice of humans.

Some hell houses are intentionally disguised to resemble conventional secular haunted houses. The customer only realizes that they have a religious theme after they have bought their ticket and gone part of the way through the scenes.

Typical Hell House Scenes:

- A realistic reenactment of the murder of Cassie Bernall, a teenager victim at the Columbine High School in 1999-APR. She was allegedly asked whether she believed in God, answered yes, and was murdered on the spot. The incident never happened. But the story has taken on a life of its own, and is frequently referred to in conservative Christian magazines and radio programs.

- A person being sacrificed during a Satanic ritual.

- Women undergoing very bloody late-term abortions, complete with screaming, lots of blood, and particularly insensitive, uncaring health providers. This scene has been partly abandoned in recent years in favor of a portrayal of guilt and depression arising from Post Abortion Syndrome.

- Gays and lesbians being tortured in hell for all eternity because of their behavior while they were alive on earth.

- The dangers of "dabbling" in the occult and becoming demon possessed (complete with Harry Potter analogies).

- Personal tragedies arising from pre-marital sex.

- Disastrous tragedies and loss of life resulting from drunk driving.

- A man has an argument with his wife and is later seduced by his secretary.

- Witches pressuring a depressed teen to murder his fellow students.

- A 9/11 ground zero scene.

The History of 'Hell Houses':

The earliest hell house may have been created by Trinity Assembly of God in Dallas, Texas from an idea popularized by Rev. Jerry Falwell in the late 1970's. The concept was 'officially' picked up in 1992 by an ambitious minister named Keenan Roberts who opened his first Hell House was in Roswell, NM. Keenan then become a pastor of the Abundant Life Church in Arvada, CO where he developed "Hell House Outreach" kits for other churches. Eventually, he became minister of the Destiny Church (an Assembly of God affiliate) where the continued marketing of his Hell House kits has become a staple of their ministries.

Here's some helpful advice from the kit that isn't advertised on their web site…

- "Pieces of meat placed in a glass bowl to look like pieces of a baby... purchase a meat product that closely resembles pieces of a baby."

- "Theatrical Blood. Because a large amount of blood is used in this scene and in others, someone should be responsible for mixing a vat of it each evening..."

- "Chrissy [the woman having an abortion] starts crying. She is extremely distraught...the medical staff is cold, uncaring, abrupt, and completely insensitive..."

In his first three years of business, Roberts sold 300 kits, and had 20,000 guests. His own Hell House reports about 7,000 or 35% Christian conversions (instances of personal salvation).

The Big League:

Trinity Ministries in Texas mentioned above still runs a really large Hell House each year (click here) and has gained the most nationwide publicity from their efforts. So much so, in fact, that they get a minimum of 10,000-15,000 visitors every year. Click here for the web site for their newest Hell House.

Their heavenly house of horrors was the subject of a documentary made in 2001 by Director George Ratliff named 'Hell House' which exposed the phenomenon for what it really is at its core. Surprisingly, those that were the target of the documentary (as well many churches recommending the film to this very today) apparently didn't get that their effort was being mocked at by the makers of the revealing film. Click here to go to a great site about the documentary and rent it if you can for a real scare this Halloween. It'd be fascinating if not for the fact that what you see on screen is really happening in your state as well…

Moral Madness:

As I said before, in these days of a seemingly religious renaissance of Inquisitorial-views regarding 'morality', this scare-them-to-Jesus path is a frightening glimpse into the controlling psyche of American Christian churches. Not only can Hell Houses be found in every corner of our country, national leaders in the growing fundamentalist scene are throwing in their support for this nightmare to be brought to your city.

Here's what Rev. Dobson's 'Family in Focus' has to say about the Hell House craze…

"Thousands of churches will work hard this Halloween season to frighten young people with the reality of sin—and then win them to the peace of heaven.

More than 3,000 churches present some form of "Hell House" as an outreach to a generation of youth who may not know the love of God. There's even a documentary film that presents scenes of drunken driving, suicide, domestic abuse and AIDS.

"It's not just about scaring people," said Terry Lee, who has organized Hell Houses for several churches. "It's about helping them to see that there's a God who loves them and wants to come to a relationship with them."

"When you use a real-life situation to confront people in their sinfulness, that is a scary prospect for many of them, because they've never seen it as sin. They've just seen it as their daily routine and activities."

On the Light Side:

Fortunately, there are a few grass-root attempts underway by rational citizens to educate people about these fanatical festivals and, more importantly, to make fun of them.

This year marks the debut of the 'Hollywood Hell House' in Los Angeles. In essence, a producer had the great idea to purchase one of the Hell House Outreach Kits and set up several scenes as outlined by the guide but to have the roles of the characters played by comedians. On opening night, Bill Maher played Satan and Andy was Jesus. They followed the scenes word-for-word but, as they say, everything's in the delivery of the lines. It's apparently a hit and is opening people's eyes to the medieval methods of fundamentalists subjecting children to these orgies of violence and archaic prejudice.

Click here for the main Hollywood Hell House web site or here for a story about the production.

Another good jab at Hell Houses comes from one of my favorite online places - the Landover Baptist Church web site (where the 'unsaved are unwelcome'). Landover is an incredible site created for the sole purpose of making fun of the current fundamentalist Christian movement. Truthfully, though, it doesn't take much reading of their fake news stories to see haunting similarities to actual current church dogma. Anyway, in spirit of the season, they've mocked up their own Hell House with an online interactive map (click here). It's too bad it's only a virtual event as I suspect it would be hilarious if enacted.

So, what can be learned from the infectious and rapid spreading of these Hell Houses across our great secular nation during the past 10 years? Actually, it's a simple lesson…fanaticism is frightening, whether here or abroad, and, if anyone cares to look, we again have a once-a-year chance to unabashedly see the fear and hate mechanisms that drive the very soul of American Christian churches… Jage

Next: Part 2 - Judgment Houses

Some Related Hell House Stories Online:

http://www.boulderweekly.com/archive/101801/coverstory.html

http://www.godestiny.org/ministries/hell-house/articles/us-news-and-world-report.php

http://www.atheists.org/flash.line/hallow1.htm

http://www.planetout.com/news/article-print.html?2000/10/31/3

Who\What God Hates This Week

Wow, talk about 'from outta left field'... Considering how the last two weeks have gone, I was sure the Big Man was ready to lay the smite-down on another animal\food product but, boy, was I wrong again. Unfortunately, I've really got to say that this time I disagree with the G. Even though I have some friends that also don't understand good stories can be told through the animated medium, I must say I am still more or less an overall fan of the style (except when it's an offering by the demonic Disney, that is). Of course, as is usually the case with such 'Deital-decrees', it is a tad ambiguous as to whether he's specifying cartoons in print, on TV or in the movies. Also, this leaves some grayness to the areas of CGI, claymation and other cartoon-like, but not animated per-se, forms of entertainment. Oh well, I guess, once again, that it's just not our place to analyze His hates too much... Jage

UPDATE: Upon closer inspection of the artist's rendition of God's hate-announcement for the week, I noticed the Almighty Himself sitting on high watching none other than a cartoon TV show while His faithful below carried out His wishes without question! In sooth, how could this be so? I consulted a local priest to help clarify this problem and he did help a lot by explaining sometimes we need to just 'do as God says and not as He does'. Whew, almost had a crisis there, thank goodness for the wisdom of our current clergy for that crucial catch...

Jesus Imagery of the Week

Blood and Gore Jesus

Just in time for Halloween! Being the hip prodigal party Son, Jesus knows how to celebrate Pagan festivals in style! Any other day he'd be happy just showing some spike holes, a bloody forehead and a stab wound in the side, but with Halloween around the corner, the Guy thought it the perfect time to go gross and gory. Sporting a messianic mess that'd even get Mel Gibson excited, Bloody Jesus is sure to scare children of all ages as he stands head and crown-o-thorns above the other undead costumes walking the streets this Hallows' Eve... Jage

Evil Made Easy

No wonder the rat bastards have been taking the upper hand in the fight between right and wrong...they now have an unfair advantage over we dwindling good guys. Click the link below to see what I mean... Jage

THE ONLINE EVIL PLAN GENERATOR

Another Reason I'm Not Worried...

Some Small Science News

And I literally mean small. I don't know if many people keep up with this emerging science, but there have been some significant breakthroughs in the field of nanotechnology recently. In fact, some of the newest 'nano-inventions' are going to help open up the realized capabilities of this seemingly sci-fi advancement a lot sooner than most of us are aware. Molecular construction crews are actually on the horizon now...incredible stuff... Jage

All Stories Via LiveScience.com:

The World's Smallest Car

Using the parts inside a single molecule, scientists have constructed the world's smallest car. It has a chassis, axles and a pivoting suspension. The wheels are buckyballs, spheres of pure carbon containing 60 atoms apiece.

It'd be a real squeeze to take it for a spin, however.

The whole car is no more than 4 nanometers across. That's slightly wider than a strand of DNA. A human hair is about 80,000 nanometers thick.

Other groups have made car-shaped nanoscale objects. But this is the first one that rolls "on four wheels in a direction perpendicular to its axles," the researchers reported Thursday.

What's the point? Nanotrucks, of course.

Eventually the researchers want to build tiny trucks that could carry atoms and molecules around in miniature factories.

"We'd eventually like to move objects and do work in a controlled fashion on the molecular scale, and these vehicles are great test beds for that," said James Tour, a Rice University research who co-led the work. "They're helping us learn the ground rules."

Walking Small: The First Bipedal Molecule

Scientists have created a molecule that walks on two feet when it feels hot or when lured by the tip of scanning tunneling microscope.

The molecule, called 9,10-dithioanthracene (DTA), walks in such way that only one "foot" rests on a surface at any one time. When heated, the body of the DTA molecule pivots forward, causing one leg to lift up and the other to plop down.

In this hot-potato fashion, it plods along in a straight line without veering off course or stumbling.

Bipedalism like this is, of course, the preferred mode of natural movement for humans, but it's not easy to accomplish even in the realm of human-sized robots.

DTA can also be lured by the tip of a scanning tunneling microscope serving as a sort of carrot. In tests on a standard copper surface, DTA took 10,000 steps without faltering once.

Ludwig Bartels, lead researcher of the project at the University of California, Riverside, said the tiny walker could one day be used to guide the movements of molecule-based information storage or even computation.

The World's Smallest Motor

Scientists recently unveiled the tiniest electric motor ever built. You could stuff hundreds of them into the period at the end of this sentence.

One day a similar engine might power a tiny mechanical doctor that would travel through your body in the ultimate house call.

The motor works by shuffling atoms between two molten metal droplets in a carbon nanotube. One droplet is even smaller than the other. When a small electric current is applied to the droplets, atoms slowly eek off the larger droplet and join the smaller one. The small droplet grows – but never gets as big as the other droplet – and eventually bumps into the large droplet. As they touch, the large droplet rapidly sops up the atoms it had previously sloughed off. This quick shift in energy produces a power stroke.

Although the amount of energy produced is small -- 20 microwatts -- it is quite impressive in relation to the tiny scale of the motor. The whole setup is less than 200 nanometers on a side, or hundreds of times smaller than the width of a human hair. If it could be scaled up to the size of an automobile engine, it would be 100 million times more powerful than a Toyota Camry’s 225 horsepower V6 engine, the researchers say.

And I Bet He's a Pro-Lifer Too...

Yet another depressing tidbit on how a fanatic, through his desire to control the public mindset, ended up doing something that just didn't rank too high on the overall scale of morality. Basically, a Baptist minister in Colorado found out about a planned local 'Pagan' fund-raiser to help benefit St. Jude's. He raised enough of a racket at a City Council meeting that the press associated with the event made St. Jude's eventually decline to accept the money.

Pagans' benefit shot down

St. Jude hospital rescinds permission to use charity's name

By Deborah Frazier, Rocky Mountain News
October 7, 2005

Pagans on Colorado's plains wanted to give St. Jude Children's Research Hospital a helping hand but say they got a slap in the face.

The Secret Garden Coven planned to donate proceeds from a festival on Oct. 29 in Ramah, east of Colorado Springs, to the hospital.

But the hospital's attorney recently rescinded permission to use the St. Jude name in the crafts festival, dinner and midnight healing ritual.

"We have no opinion regarding your chosen path of spirituality in this land where freedom of religion and speech are honored," wrote St. Jude's attorney, Diane Spears.

"However, your event, regardless of its affiliation with an organized movement or religion, has become politicized and controversial."

The group plans to donate the money to elderly Sioux Indians on the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota.

George Shadroui, a spokesman for St. Jude's fundraising division, said coverage of the pagans' conflict with the Ramah City Council troubled the charity.

A Baptist minister had urged the council to ban the gathering in the town of 120.

Though some members agreed, the council did nothing and the mayor ultimately apologized to the pagans.

Now I'm not trying to create extra sympathy for Pagans as a whole, as it's pretty much a fluff faith. All the rituals and ceremonies that they so sincerely perform have all been created within the past 100 years. Though references to Pagan religions, and sects such as the 'Druids', are found throughout Europe's literary and archeological record, there has never been a single discovery of the detailing of the specifics of any Pagan or Druidic ritual. So, in essence, they've literally been re-making it up as they go along. Naturally, if that's the way they want to believe, that's absolutely their privilege; just as it is mine to snicker at it. On the other hand, I will say that these New Age faiths, on the most part, seem much less derogatory-based and vicious than the bulk of the older established religions.

Anyway, the long and short of it is because one zealous person disapproved of the way another person thought, sick kids ended up getting the ultimate short end of this particular stick. But, as is usually the case with narrow minds, the big picture generally doesn't figure into the equation. Sad... Jage

See, even Mattel doesn't mind taking
Pagan's money when it comes to kids...
(From the Secret Spells Barbie 'Wicca-Friendly' Line)

Thought for the Day

"Religion I found to be without any tendency to inspire, promote, or confirm morality, serves principally to divide us and make us unfriendly to one another."

- Benjamin Franklin

Finally, a prescription I can use... Jage

Jesus Imagery of the Week

Tattoo Jesus

"Hey man, what’s on your mind?

It’s Jesus! And he seems to be rolling his eyes at the amazing decision-making skills of his disciples.

When a man starts balding, the first logical step is to shave the remaining hairs to the shortest length possible. The second phase of balding is to talk through it. This might involve making self-deprecating jokes or naming other balding men whom women find attractive despite their hair loss. Anthony Edwards circa 1997? Come on, ladies!

The third phase of male pattern baldness is to actually turn the now-exposed scalp into something better than a full head of hair, such as a tattooed homage to your religious savior. The third phase is not often reached. Thank God.

p.s. The sunglasses are a nice addition."

Photo and article courtesy of J2K-five

Who\What God Hates This Week

Interesting...this is the second week in a row the Big Man has had it in for a food product. The two He's picked thus far, first bacon and now shrimp, are, granted, pretty bad medicine for maintaining a heavenly physique. Perhaps he's on a diet and this is a form of negative association to remind him not to indulge too much. Sort of a deity-based version of the oinking pig people put in the refrigerator; he starts to grab an extra handful of popcorn-shrimp and then, 'kazaam', he remembers he damned it just a few days ago (at least in 'mortal time', that is). I have no problem in agreeing with G on this decree, though. My own personal condemnation of the juicy little buggers stems from a long since past shrimp-eating contest and over 60 jumbo shrimp, grilled with a thick and buttery herb sauce, repeatedly defying the laws of gravity after being consumed. Fortunately, I can now say, when asked, that I can't eat them for religious reasons. But just as with the bacon\pig exception last week, my grudge is only with the cooked crustacean. The live ones can swarm all over the ocean's floor as long as they stay off my plate... Jage

Thought for the Day

"The clergy converted the simple teachings of Jesus into an engine for enslaving mankind and adulterated by artificial constructions into a contrivance to filch wealth and power to themselves...these clergy, in fact, constitute the real Anti-Christ."

- Thomas Jefferson

Messiah of the Month

This month's winner is...Rabbi Yosef Dayan of Israel...well, maybe...the 'predictor', Rabbi Yitzhak Kaduri, might have to change his mind down the line. So I guess this will just have to be awarded on a temporary status until Rabbi Dayan makes a final decision or until next month's Messiah is revealed to the world; whichever comes first. Article from Bartholomew's Notes on Religion...

Messiah Countdown in Israel

Latest news from the Israeli religious right, via Arutz Sheva:

On Thursday night, Rabbi Yitzhak Kaduri said, "Jews must come to the land of Israel to receive our righteous Mashiach (Messiah), who has begun his influence and will reveal himself in the future."

…During the afternoon Mincha prayer on Yom Kippur, the Kabbalist scholar surprised his students and fellow worshippers with secrets relating to the coming of the Mashiach…Only after some 45 minutes, the Rabbi raised his head and looked around the room at the students and worshippers who were gathered at his Nachalat Yitzhak Yeshiva, in the Bucharim neighborhood of Jerusalem. With a broad smile on his face familiar to his students when he has a revelation, he declared, "With the help of G-d, the soul of the Mashiach [i.e. “Messiah”] has attached itself to a person in Israel".
---
The Arutz Sheva report also gives Kaduri’s timetable for the Messiah’s appearance, based on his interpretations of the writings of a mystic known as the Vilna Gaon:

On September 24, 2001, Channel One Israel TV broadcast an item on what Torah and other mystics were saying in the wake of the World Trade Center attack. Speaking from the room adjacent to where Rabbi Yitzhak Kaduri receives visitors, Arutz Sheva Hebrew radio showhost Yehoshua Meiri, a close confident of the Kabbalist, explained to the cameras Rabbi Kaduri's understanding of the events based on the calculations of the Vilna Gaon: "On Hashanah Rabba, the actual war of Gog and Magog will commence and will last for some seven years," said Meiri. [ Click here to view the Channel One clip in Hebrew and Rabbi Kaduri's prediction communicated by Meiri at the 1:40 minute mark.

Precise to the minute, 13 days later on October 7th as the sun was setting and the Jewish holiday of Hoshana Rabba was ushered in, US and British forces began an aerial bombing campaign targeting Taliban forces and Al-Qaida.

So, apparently, while the person who will be the Messiah is around at this moment, he will not actually become the Messiah until two more years have passed. But who will the “Messiah” be? Most likely, Kaduri is backing Rabbi Yosef Dayan, who claims to be the legitimate King of Israel, and who recently uttered a death curse against Sharon. But if the Messiah must be Sharon's successor, perhaps Kaduri (pictured below) has a more likely candidate in mind...?

"Hey, if you end up becoming the Messiah,
let's let political bygones be bygones, alright?"

On a serious note, we all need to pay more attention to these events as this could represent some truly scary days ahead for the rest of the sane world. As I've always griped and moaned, when government officials and news Medias give public credence to this alarmist end-of-the-world nonsense, it always pushes the envelope of possibility that someone in power might dictate policy in a fashion to facilitate this catastrophic end-result. Maybe I just can't wash Martin Sheen's voice as the American President in the movie 'The Dead Zone' out of my head…"Mr. Vice President, Mr. Secretary, the missiles are flying. Hallelujah. Hallelujah!"

With the Middle East an extremely over-primed powder-keg just waiting for the right spark, movements such as this sure don't help the situation much for any nation in the region. Everyone worries about Muslim nations getting nuclear weapons in the near future (which is, admittedly, quite troubling)...but I tend worry a bit more about how many 100's of nuclear bombs Israel already has stockpiled. Fanaticism by any other name is still as dangerous... Jage

Sorry, No More Fishin' Allowed

A few days ago, I gave in to the baiting of a reader looking for a God-fight and started exchanging responses with him/her. I even brought the exchange out of the commentary area and made it an actual post onto itself. Then it occurred to me that almost all the spare time I had to do the posts I wanted to see were slowly being devoted into a petty, zero-sum debate. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people, instead of doing something themselves, devote such a considerable amount of energy into trying to piss on someone else's creation.

Anyway, a few minutes ago I received another e-mail notification that this same boy/girl had sent yet another round of why their belief is the only right one in the world and I thought about opening it for a few seconds…before I hit the delete button. I knew that if I read whatever he/she had spun this time around, that something in my gut would incessantly chew at me until I, yet again, typed another lengthy dissertation on why I frankly don't care how they believe. Their newest comment might have been the same jargon as before or it may have contained the cure for cancer; but neither I nor the rest of my readers will ever know for sure. Darn...

Without a second of further thought, I went to my blog settings and deleted that post I had made against that particular person. I should have never posted anything so personally directed at any reader...that's never happened before and won't again. I also completely turned off the comment option for all posts from this point forward. With the tone in which I address some religiously-based topics, there'll always be another God-fearing soul out there upset at my words and ready to argue until the proverbial cows come home. And I would invariably be drawn back into another time-consuming moot argument which would take the place of new posts, etcetera, etcetera, ad naseum.

So, no offense to regular readers is meant, but I'm going to go forward with a post-only approach. That's all I have the time or patience for right now anyway. If someone doesn't like what I say here then, well, go start your own damned blog. As always, though, feel free to link to any articles or posts here that you do find interesting... Jage

Beware the Ides (x2+1) of October!

"Cover Quiz: Religious Self-Help Video
or Amateur Pagan Porn Tape?"

For conservative Christians wringing their hands yet once again as the evil day of the dead approaches, the answer to whether you should allow your God-fearing children to participate in such a pagan-draped festival has finally arrived! Some highlights from the full guide…

Taken from the 'ChristianAnswers.net' web site:

Instead of celebrating, what's a Christian to do on Satan's feast day? PRAY! Intercession and spiritual warfare should be the first item on our agenda. It is NOT a last resort!

- Join with other families in the church. Have the pastor announce a night of spiritual battle. Organize a group of Christians parents and students from your children's school or homeschool group. As a family, designate the seven nights before October 31 as Family Prayer Outreach nights.

- Pray for protection. Pray over both those who engage in prayer warfare and over those who will be out trick-or-treating or at Halloween parties. October 31 is a prime recruiting time for witches and Satanists....and a time for interested kids to experiment. Pray that the Lord keeps our kids from falling prey to those who worship the enemy.

- Pray for discernment. Let the Holy Spirit direct you to specific prayer requests. Pray that the children who are "out there" will somehow "know" to keep away from certain activities. I have relatives who, even though they were not Christians, "knew" that ouija boards and levitation games were dangerous.

- Pray that the Lord hinder the occult rituals. For four years, I lived in a building which over looked a cemetery where occult ceremonial markings were often found. ON certain occult feast days, usually between midnight and 3am, I would look down into the darkness and kneel at my window binding the demons that controlled the ceremonies. I'll never know this side of heaven what effect my prayers had. Maybe a potential sacrifice escaped. Maybe the occultists weren't successful in summoning their demon. Maybe a new, young recruit decided that this was not the lifestyle he thought he wanted.

- Pray for the salvation of the occultists. Jesus Christ died for those whom Satan holds captive and deceived, for those who mock Him, who deny His deity or His existence. He doesn't want them to perish, but to come to Him calling Him Father, Lord. Pray the veil is lifted from their eyes, the Lord allows them to see clearly their spiritual condition and their only hope lies in Jesus Christ. Pray also, about whether the Lord would have you take a more active role in bringing the gospel to Satan's servants.

- Let your children know that this is effective warfare. They must know their prayers are heard and acted on by our Father. Let them know they can make a difference. Come October 31, they'll know they have a job to do.

And don't for one second be fooled by those 'Harvest Parties' many churches are offering in lieu of children having to participate in the real evil deed…

"Let's take a look at the typical Harvest Party.

• It is a celebration.
• It is chaperoned (usually).
• It may have costumes.
• Games are played.
• Contests are held.
• Food abounds.
• Music blares.
• Everyone enjoys themselves.

Certainly, nothing to get concerned about, right? The problem, however, lies in the billing. The Harvest Party is usually referred to as the Christian alternative to traditional Halloween hijinx. Alternative, however, implies substitute. It assumes our children need something to take the place of Halloween, since they won't be participating in the secular and pagan celebrations. It suggests our kids are missing out on something. And indeed they are, if we allow them to spend Halloween in celebration."

Actually, she's technically correct in her adherence to that latter stance…if you're anti-'something', then you need to be anti-'alternative' to the something as well. Of course, it doesn't help that many Harvest Parties are billed as 'alternatives' to Halloween…you know how fundamentalists are about anything dubbed 'alternative'. Regardless, the author of this article does knows her stuff; not only does she see the battlefield from Jesus' side, she was once a practicing witch fully aware of the demon hordes waiting in the shadows for us all…

"If we are to train our children to be soldiers in the army of Christ, why would we sign a pass for them to go on leave when the battle is escalating on the front lines?

As a child of four, I contacted the first of many spirit guides (read: demons) while playing with a Kindergarten classmates' ouija board at a chaperoned Halloween party. This spiritual assault ignited an intrigue with the supernatural that culminated in my lifestyle as a practicing witch: divination, necromancy, channeling, astrology, psychic ability, and spell working. It wasn't until I was twenty that I met the real Jesus Christ, and was released from the trap that Satan had set for this young prisoner of war sixteen years earlier.

There are too many casualities on Halloween and far too few troops fighing the enemy. Instead of partying on Halloween, teach your children how to fight. Keep them aware that the fight isn't against occultists, non-Christians, Christians who feel differently than we about Halloween, or institutions that promote Halloween, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers or darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places" (Ephesians 6:12)."

As G.I. Joe once said, "Knowing is half the battle." And now you know…about the battle, I mean...the epic battle fought every Halloween...the one making the streets safe for heathens like me...at least until Christmas, that is... Jage

Thought for the Day

"Theology...is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything."

- Robert A. Heinlein

More Link Chaos

Since the list of links on the blog's sidebar has been continually expanding, I decide to do a little OCD-required re-organization. They are now broken down into a few categories reflective of the nature of the sites. Below is a list of the newest entries to the list... Jage

ARMedia: Bitchy Critic - The local watchdog of our state's floundering news Medias. Even if you don't live in these neck of the woods, I'm sure you'll find her posts nonetheless pithy and poetic.

Gang War: Bangin' in Little Rock - News stories and insights on non-traditional youth groups from the foremost expert in this region.

Daily KOS - Good stories and commentary on the insanity of modern American politics.

Where in the World is Jesus - I go here every time I need a good chuckle (it is tongue-in-cheek for those who can't discern it). Reminds me of the good old days of the 'JesusCams' set up in the Middle-East as the year 2000 rolled around, hoping to capture 'the moment' on webcam. Too bad the fundamentalists can't do proper math or they could have seen it happen the next year when the new millennium really started...

Bartholomew's Notes on Religion - Good source of religious-oriented news events from around the world.

Corey & Jay's 'Missing Links' - I'm not overly fond of these radio personalities (it's NPR for me when I want talk-radio), but this collection of odd, strange and eclectic links from their web site is bound to have you rolling on the floor.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey - What can I say? A spiritual guru if there ever was one...